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Episodes
SpringBoob SquirePants has had many episodes and an equal number of hiatuses and angry fans. We've made a comprehensive list of those episodes because we don't have lives and we are f***ing losers. Season 1 #Help Wanted - SpringBoob bones Mr. Kraps for a job, and special guest Tiny Tim tries to fight off a horde of anchovies with his beautiful singing voice. #Reef Blower - In an episode told from the point of view of someone who can hear only Hawaiian music, Squidward performs "coral sex" on a coral reef. #Tea at the Treedome - SpringBoob meets Sandy for the first time, and he goes to Patback for help getting some mad squirrel pussy. Patback tells him "when in doubt, whip it out", and SpringBoob loses his virginity while Patback gets boned by a horny Bubble Bass. #Bubblestand - SpringBoob starts selling a dangerous drug known as "bubbles" on the street, and when Squidward threatens to turn him into the police, he offers to teach Squidward the technique to getting high off of the bubbles. #Ripped Pants - SpringBoob rips his pants in public then gets anally sodomized by an eel. Meanwhile, one of the many Larrys in this show (the lobster) is arrested for boning Sandy after getting too horny from his own alcoholic protein shake stand. #Dankmemes! - Dankmemes, Mr. Kraps' rival and former gay lover, tries to convince SpringBoob to have sex with him. When that fails, he gets inside of Springboob's juicy asshole with his stiff dick and they perform all types of gay sex acts in front of Dankmemes's talking laptop Ken #Naughty Nautical Neighbors - The legendary unaired episode, which Mr. Krabs is searching for so he can sell it on the internet. Eyewitness accounts describe it as ”full of drugs, semen, and a whole lotta coral sex”. #Boating School - SpringBoob fails at sex-ed class with his teacher, Big Fat Meanie, for the 36th time. Tired of failing, he relies on Patback, the ultimate sex machine, to help him pass sex-ed. Unfortunately, SpringBoob gets too horny and starts fucking Big Fat Meanie on the floor. Also, Pole is his girlfriend in this episode, so technically he's cheating. #Pizza Delivery - SpringBoob and Squidwurd are forced to deliver cocaine laced pizza to some asshole. Along the way, they encounter problems with the police, sing along to Slayer and smoke crack rocks. Also, Squidward lobotomizes the customer after he's mean to SpringBoob *AAAAWWWWWWW* #Home Sweet Pineapple - SpringBoob's home dissapears, and he tries to find another house to avoid having his alcoholic parents force him to live in their sex dungeon. #Mermaid F***er And Barnacle Bitch - SpringBoob and Patback learn that their favorite gay pornstars are still alive and in a mental asylum. They decide to bust them out to try and revive their glory days by recording them and posting their shit on Brazzers. #Pickles - Bubble Ass demands for a burger with pickles. SpringBoob forgets the pickles, so he has a mental breakdown and turns to excessive use of Morphine. However, he gets his chance for redemption, goes back into the kitchen, cooks Bubble Ass a burger...and forgets the pickles. Goddamn it #Hall Monitor - SpringBoob is given the chance to become a hall monitor by Big Fat Meanie. He uses his power to harrass minorities and to assassinate The Open Window Burgler #Jellyfish Jam - SpringBoob jams a pack of jellyfish into Gary's genitals, causing Gary to jizz and impregnate them. SpringBoob must then perform around a dozen abortions #Sandy's Rocket - Sandy Cheeks make the world's largest dildo into a spaceship, making SpringBoob and Patback very horny. Then SpringBoob and Patback put on VR headsets and shoot the shit out of everyone in Your Mom's Bikini Bottom. #Squeaky Boots - Pole is excited for her birthday present from Mr. Kraps, but when she looks in the gift box, it's just his dick for the eleventh time. #Nature Pants - SpringBoob has a perfectly chill life at the Krusty Krap but decides he would rather leave his 9 friends in Your Mom's Bikini Bottom to live in the wild with jellyfish. He dies. #Opposite Day - SpringBoob convinces Patback that it's Opposite Day so Patback will tell the opposite of the truth when the cops interrogate him. The cops know it's Opposite Day too, so when Patback tells them he didn't murder Mr. Kraps, Pole, and Big Fat Meanie, he is jailed for life. #Culture Shock - Squidward wants to show everyone his dick at the talent show, but Mr. Kraps will only allow it if Pole goes on stage and becomes a star too. #F.U.N. - Ken the Computer tells Dankmemes he needs to befriend SpringBoob if he ever wants to steal the Krusty Krap's secret weed recipe. #MuscleBob BuffPants - SpringBoob gets a pair of anchor arms so he can jerk off even faster than before. #Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost - SpringBoob is sad when he thinks Squidwurd died and became a ghost, so he kills the rest of the ten main characters so they can join Squidwurd in the ghost world. There is no ghost world. #The Chaperone - Mr. Kraps forces SpringBoob to f*** Pole. #Employee of the Month - SpringBoob really wants to be Employee of the Month, so he sucks Mr. Kraps' dick for a week but Mr. Kraps still gives the award to Squidward. #Scaredy-Ass - Tired of being called a “Scaredy-Ass” SpringBoob makes Patback dress him up as an EA executive to terrify the partygoers at the Krusty Krap’s annual Halloween Orgy. He scares the shit out of them. Literally. Shit flies everywhere. #I was a teenage Gary - SpringBoob And Squidward pretend to be snails for a sexual fantasy. Their fun is ruined when Patback nails Squidward in the balls with a rock and gives him a boner. #SB-420 - Squidward accidentally finds himself in the future with robotic versions of Springboob and Patback. He stays there anyway ’cause the weed makes him go higher. #Karate Choppers - SpringBoob learns karate from Sandy, and starts acting like a squinty-eyed Asian. #Sleepy Time - SpringBoob has a wet dream so good, he shits himself. #Suds - SpringBoob gets a sexual disease after hanging around minorities. He infects Mr. Kraps with it, cause he’s a selfish bitch. #Valentines Day - SpringBoob and Patback feel the love for Valentine’s Day. In other words, they have a massive orgy at Patrick’s Rock. #The Paper - Squidward finds a list of things SpringBoob hates. When he sees “Squidward’s Shitty Clarinet Playing”, he shoves the paper up his ugly ass. #Arrgh! - Is exactly what Mr. Kraps said when he got herpes because of SpringBoob and Patback. #Rock Hard Dick - SpringBoob and Patback visit the town of Rock Hard Dick, and lose even more virginity. #Tex-ass - Sandy wants to go back to Tex-ass. SpringBoob and Patback relentlessly mock her homeland, only to be murdered when she goes on a rampage and get mutilated so badly that the Coroner retires on the spot. #Walking Small - Dankmemes tricks SpringBoob into killing beach bums with kindness. Which is what he calls his AK-47. #Fools in April - Mr. Kraps struggles to find his micropenis, while Squidward makes SpringBoob think he’s retarded for April Fools. #Neptune’s Dildo - SpringBoob gets his hands on the legendary Neptune’s Dildo. He breaks his neck when he tries to shove it up his ass. #Hooky - SpringBoob skips work to mercilessly rape Sandy with Patback. They both get arrested by The Your Mom’s Bikini Bottom Police Force...for childhood obesity. #Mermaid F***er and Barnacle Bitch II - SpringBoob needs Mermaid F***er and Barnacle Bitch’s help when he can’t get horny off of horn porn. Season 2 41. Pre-hibernation week - Sandy and SpringBoob decide to f*** each other before she hibernates, which she doesn't even do. They then have babies that they kill due to them being too horny. They both get arrested for life. 42. Life of Crime - SpringBoob and Patback steal some money to afford more of the white stuff that makes them feel giggly inside. They go on the run, set up camp on the outskirts, have a massive fallout over their waste of rations, have a threesome with a sea bear, and are mauled to death by said bear......All without realizing it’s F***ING FREE MONEY DAY!!!!!!! 43. Your Shoe’s Untied, F***o - SpringBoob, Patback and Squidward try on some pimped-out clothing. Meanwhile, a department store in Cleveland is found with the cashier shot dead and half their stock of fancy clothes and shit gone... 44. Squid's Day Off - Squidward and SpringBoob run the Krusty Krap while Mr. Kraps is in hospital for injuring himself while trying to wank on his sink as replacement for drain cleaner. Instead of the responsible deputy boss that Squidwurd typically is, Squidward stays at home while SpringBoob is running the restaurant. While staying at home, Squidward realized that SpringBoob enjoys frying buildings to oblivion for fun. Instead of fucking his pillow to the thought of his former girlfriend, Squidward quickly ran back to the Krusty Krap, but realized it was too late. The Krusty Krap has been burnt down. Now Squidward has to pay all the expensive bills because SpringBoob received third-degree burns. 45. Something Smells - SpringBoob eats some Funyuns and frickin' gets disgusting breath that kills anyone in his path and contaminates Patback in the process. Frickin' stanky breath. 46. Bossy Boots - Declining sales leads a desperate Mr. Kraps to hire his daughter Pole to come up with new ideas to improve his restaurant. Pole decides to turn the Krusty Krap into a strip club, opening endless opportunities for Pole and SpringBoob to make out in public (cuz, y'know, she's a stripper pole.). 47. Big Pink Loser - Patback wins an award for writing his magnum opus, The Ugly Barnacle. 48. Bubble Buddy - SpringBoob creates a new friend out of bubbles from his bong, and the two get high together all day. Later, Squidward smells kush coming from out their window and calls the cops on the two of them, but the cops get stoned as well. Then they proceed to steal all of Squidward's Doritos and head to Patback's house for a weed hullaballoo. 49. Dying for Pie - Squidward, fed up with all of SpringBoob's nonsense, sends him a pie that is actually an explosive, baked by ISIS chefs. Hilarity ensues. Features an advertisement for Osama bin Laden's Allahu Snackbar. 50. Imitation Kraps - Dankmemes creates a sex robot resembling Mr. Kraps and invites Squidward over for a kinky roleplay. 51. Wormy - Sandy gets SpringBoob and Patback to care for her pet caterpillar, who is later found out to be the larval form of kaiju Mothra. Havoc is unleashed upon Your Mom's Bikini Bottom! 52. Patty Hype - SpringBoob injects Krappy Patties with dangerous chemicals to give them colorful hues, and gets everyone to buy one. He is soon arrested for false advertising and causing the death of over 1 million citizens. 53. Grandma's Kisses - SpringBoob, after being denied his grandma's special crack cookies (nicknamed Kisses) after breaking her antique china dildo, plots to kill her. 54. Squidville - After reading the Communist Manifesto and watching Soviet propaganda films, Squidward moves to Squidville so he can be around others with his ideologies. SpringBoob and Patback try to convince him to move back, but he calls them racial slurs and kills them with his SVT-40. 55. Christmas Who? - SpringBoob attempts to get the mayor of Your Mom's Bikini Bottom to sign a legislation to make Christmas the official holiday of the city. This, however, pisses off the minorities who want Kwanzaa as the official city holiday. 56. Survival of the Idiots - SpringBoob and Patback are locked in Sandy's sex dungeon and forced into kinky fetish scenarios to survive. 57. Dumped - Gary cheats on SpringBoob by going to Patback's house to have gay sex. SpringBoob tries to replace him with various prostitutes, but it just isn't the same as having that slime up your butt. 58. No Free Rides - SpringBoob desperately craves to ride Big Fat Meanie's big ass, but she won't just let him--he has to pony up the cash first! As such, SpringBoob must do odd jobs (and people) in order for an hour of big fat butt. 59. Jellyspotters - SpringBoob attempts to join the Jellyspotters, a group of voyeurs who spy on naked jellyfish. 60. Mermaid F***er and Barnacle Bitch III - SpringBoob and Patback accidentally free Ray Man. 61. Squirrel Jokes - SpringBoob does racist standup comedy and offends Sandy. Later he gets capped in the head by her shotgun. 62. Pressure - SpringBoob and Sandy compete by wrapping themselves in increasingly tighter bondage ropes, only for both of them to die of asphyxiation. 63. The Smoking Peanut - Patback is sitting in his house smoking weed and eating peanuts until his peanuts get a whiff of his mary jane and start smoking too. They soon escape and Patback must round them and their weed up before he gets caught smoking weed that was Squidward's. 64. Shanghaied - SpringBoob, Patback, and Squidward are captured by The Flying Frenchman. They are forced to work on his ship making french fries for eternity! 65. Gary takes a Shit - After a Taco Bell Grande Meal, Gary gets the shits and makes a mad dash for the bathroom...the only problem is, Patback is in there for the same reason. 66. Welcome to the Dank Bucket - SpringBoob, fed up with Mr. Kraps crap (hah), leaves the Krusty Krap and joins forces with Dankmemes, getting higher pay and higher highs. He also gets a lobotomy so Dankmemes' sex robot has a brain. 67. Frankendoody - SpringBoob watches Monsturd ''and has nightmares. The next morning, he takes a poo and his crap turns into a monster! He teams up with Dankmemes to create a T.P. bazooka to vanquish the beast. Then Dankmemes uses the bazooka to kill Mr. Kraps. 68. The Secret Box - Patback has a special box and SpringBoob lusts to know what's in it---which turns out to be Patback's dick. Hot! 69. Band Geeks - Squidward creates a band so he can put it up on MySpace. 70. Gay Yard Shift - SpringBoob and Squidward work "The Night Shift", a black pornstar. 71. Krusty Love - Mr. Kraps hits on Big Fat Meanie so he can get into her wallet. 72. Procrastination - SpringBoob puts off an essay for Big Fat Meanie about how traffic accidents are the most erotic fetish ever. 73. I'm with Stupid - Patback falls after slipping on a used condom and becomes mentally retarded, and SpringBoob must find a cure. 74. Sailor Mouth - Squidward gives Mr. Kraps a BJ and tastes his salty seven seas, getting "sailor mouth" in the process. 75. Artist Unknown - Squidward creates some loli porn for himself, but his work accidentally enters the public view and the authorities get wind of his "masterpiece", finding it obscene. They try to find the culprit behind the porno, while Squidward goes incognito in order to evade arrest. 76. Jellyfish Hunter - Mr. Kraps goes Jellyfish poaching. Eventually Patback joins too in order to find the Albino Jellyfish to cure his AIDS. 77. The Fry Cook Games - SpringBoob and Patback compete in a competition to create the most unhealthy food known to fishkind and give everyone diabetes. Wilford Brimley makes a cameo to promote his new insulin gun and fights off the Diabeetus Monster. 78. Squid on Strike - Squidward and SpringBoob go on strike after Mr. Kraps refuses to give them health insurance, and they most certainly need it after working at the Krusty Krap for so long. 79. Sandy, SpringBoob, and the Worm - SpringBoob steals enlargement pills from all of this wiki's page stubs and uses them on himself. His wiener becomes so massive that it gains sentience and threatens to drown Your Mom's Bikini Bottom in seed, so Sandy has to trap the beast with her "cave." Season 3 80. The Algae's Always Gayer - Dankmemes and Mr. Kraps exchange roles for a day; Dankmemes introduces the Pepe Patty, and Kraps becomes a stripper. 81. SpringGuard on Duty - SpringBoob becomes a lifeguard so he can ogle at women in bikinis. 82. Club SpringBoob - SpringBoob gets tired of working at his krappy job and opens up a brothel called Club SpringBoob. It manages to garner more profit and attention than the Krusty Krap, but one night SpringBoob gets a little too drunk and burns down the establishment. Several strippers including Sandy, Pole, and Big Fat Meanie are killed, and SpringBoob is arrested for improper hygiene. 83. My Pretty Seawhore - SpringBoob shoots up a farm and steals its best seawhore. He rides it to work and abuses it for shits and giggles! Later he gets arrested for animal negligence... 84. Just One Punch - A sleep-deprived Squidward reads too much anime and starts to believe he is Squidtama, the One-Punch Man. He kills everyone in Your Mom's Bikini Bottom and faces off against his nemesis Spongeta. 85. The Bully - An exchange student from Bullworth Academy, Jimmy Hopkins, comes to terrorize Big Fat Meanie's boating academy. He and Flatts the Flounder soon duke it out and cause the total destruction of the school, as well as to the entirety of Your Mom's Bikini Bottom. SpringBoob also eats a cookie off the ground and dies. 86. Nasty Patty - A food critic comes to the Krusty Krap and gives a good review. Mr. Kraps is offended by this and serves him a Nasty Patty that sends him straight to the morgue! 87. Idiot Box - SpringBoob and Patback discover a box that contains a demon that can make cartoon noises. They annoy Squidward so much that he commits suicide, but his soul then becomes bound to the box and he is forced to entertain the two idiots for all eternity. 88. Mermaid F***er and Barnacle Bitch IV - SpringBoob finds Mermaid F***er's Wumbo Wonder belt, and kills Squidward with it. He then f***s his corpse while Patback watches some TV. 89. Doing Time - SpringBoob goes to jail for stealing one of the boating academy's cars. He gets his best pal Patback to bust a brotha out, but their plains are in jeopardy because Big Fat Meanie is happy SpringBoob is in jail and has paid the prison guards a hefty sum to keep him locked down heavily in solitary confinement. 90. Snowball Effect - SpringBoob and Patback cause a nuclear winter and have a snowball fight. 91. One Kraps Trash - Mr. Kraps and SpringBoob go grave robbing. Along the way they find the soda hat of Smitty Werbanjergormesobabel, who comes back from the dead with a vengeance and a thirst for soda. 92. As Seen on TV - Mr. Kraps makes a commercial for the Krusty Krap, and SpringBoob is the star! He goes completely naked into the restaurant and whips his willy out on top of the fryer. Sales increase by 69%! 93. Can You Spare a Dime? - Squidward fakes a disability and crashes at SpringBoob's crib. He mooches off the little f***er and jerks off loudly with the door open. He also takes big doo-doos and doesn't flush the toilet, forcing SpringBoob to clean the crappy, corny mess (in this episode Squidward's favorite food is creamed corn). 94. No Weenies Allowed - SpringBoob wants to join a fight club, but he's a weak bitch and needs to buff up. He goes on the black market for illegal steroids and gains killer muscles. However, he gets too ripped and his muscles explode, killing him. Mr. Kraps then serves his flesh as a menu item to great applause. 95. Squilliam Returns - Squilliam Fettuccine, Squidward's high-school rival and former gay lover, comes back to taunt Squidward's lack of fame and fortune compared to his, which he made by inventing and marketing a successful brand of penis enlargement pills. 96. Krap Borg - After getting boned by Squidward too hard, Mr. Kraps has to get a massage chair for his ass. He ends up stealing batteries and power sources from everyone for his chair, leading SpringBoob to believe he is actually a robot. He and Squidward tie him up in bondage gear to see if he's actually Mr. Kraps or not---a robot wouldn't find it kinky. 97. Rock-a-Bye Bivalve - SpringBoob and Patback have a threesome with a giant clam, causing SpringBoob to become pregnant. SpringBoob begins to gain big titties, eat everything in the house, and become irritable as hell, leading Patback to abuse him and demand SpringBoob to get an abortion. Eventually Squidward (who has become a surgeon to spite Squilliam) performs the abortion and they roast the fetus for a hearty dinner. 98. Wet Painters - Mr. Kraps wants his house painted, so he hires SpringBoob and Patback to do it for him. They manage to easily accomplish the task by watching hentai and splooging all over the walls. 99. Krusty Krap Training Video - This is a training video for future Krusty Krap employees. It covers such important topics such as what to do if you get AIDS, or if Mr. Kraps comes too close to the kitchen. Also demonstrated in the video are various torture motivation methods to be used on sluggish employees. 100. Party Pooper Pants - SpringBoob has a throws a house party and spikes all the drinks with horse laxatives so he can become a "party pooper". Everyone dies due to excessive diarrhea, and SpringBoob's house is quarantined afterwards. 101. Chocolate with Nuts - SpringBoob and Patback castrate everyone in Your Mom's Bikini Bottom and use their nuts in their chocolate recipe. It becomes a smash hit, leading SpringBoob and Patback to go hunting on the black market for testicles for their recipe. 102. Mermaid F***er and Barnacle Bitch V - The Galactic Empire comes to Your Mom's Bikini Bottom looking for new recruits. Barnacle Bitch, tired of being second banana to a fart older and fatter than he, enlists, and becomes the Sith lord "Tabernacle Twat." They take control of the town and take all the women, which royally pisses SpringBoob off. He becomes a Jedi by the teachings of Obi-Wan Cannoli. This episode is infamous for being cut short due to Disney claiming copyright on the last five minutes, leaving the episode with no resolution. 103. Season 4 420. ”Best” Day Ever - SpringBoob shows everyone in Your Mom’s Bikini Bottom his boner while smoking weed. Season 5 ''TBA Season 6 TBA Season 7 TBA Season 8 TBA Season 9 TBA Season 10 TBA Season 11 TBA Season 12 # FarmerBob: SpongeBob is forced to work at Old Man Janken's farm because Mr. Krabs refuses to spend f*cking money. TBA Category:Episodes